Hello IELTS students,
Do you agree IELTS academic writing can be difficult to get a band score 7+?
Let’s make things easier for you by showing you one of our students’ answers as well as the corrections and feedback!
Can you improve this answer? What did the student do incorrectly?
Writing Task 2 – Opinion Essay Discussion
Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities become more isolated.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today’s time, it is undeniable that modern technology has a massive influence in people’s lives. The use of the internet, for example, has become more common and some claim that it has brought people closer together while others argue that its use can lead to social isolation or confinement. This essay agrees with the former argument that the internet allows people to be closer, however, its drawbacks are also evident and will be discussed below.
In the last two decades, we have witnessed the proliferation of different modern and high technological equipment, and together with this advancement is the convenience this brought to our lives. One significant contribution of this modernization is the internet. This technology has made our lives more convenient in many aspects, one of which is our mode of communication. In the past, we only utilized the mail or telephone to communicate our messages across the globe, and we have to wait for quite some time before we receive
a feedback. Today, the internet allows us to reach out to almost everyone in just a few seconds. The inconvenience of long distances and limited time are eliminated as we can talk and even see distant friends or relatives for an unlimited time. It bridges people whose relatives or families are abroad or who work overseas for instance, through Facebook, Twitter or Skype anytime and anywhere. The internet indeed brings people closer. Make your example clear – use For example or for instance…
On the contrary, this positive development has its drawback as well. It has been observed that some individuals tend to spend a lot of their time surfing the internet or the different social networking sites. This does not allow them to socialize physically with people as they isolate themselves in this virtual world. Teenagers and adults as well also use much of their time on games online and this does not allow them to develop their interpersonal skills which is a very important determinant in their future success. This paragraph could have been extended further – with a good supporting example – something made up from a study or a news article. You could say that 96% of teenagers have a social media presence according to a study by The Social Media Explorer.
In conclusion, it is a fact that modern technology such as the internet brought more convenience in our lives and allowed many people to be closer. However, it is our responsibility to balance the use of these modern technologies so that other aspects of our lives will not be neglected.
Also, make your opinion clear in both paragraphs or add another paragraph just for your opinion. You could say – Finally, in my opinion, I believe that…