Essay Correction, IELTS Writing, Task 2

Swoosh English IELTS Student Essay: Task 2-6

Hello IELTS students,

 

I hope you are all busy preparing for your exam.

 

As you know, IELTS writing can be tough and what better way to improve than to study from other students’ answers as well as the corrections and feedback?!

 

See if you can improve upon this answer yourself!

 

The changing rate of crimes in the inner city from 2003 – 2012

 

The information on the chart graph shows us that there is a statistics with an year by year comparison of theconcerning criminal incidents in Newport city centre, starting from 2003 until 2012. The evaluated incidents are as follows:

 

Robberies showed insignificant fluctuations , that seems that over the years the number of incidents had small to less modifications from 2003 until 2012 and they remained have been in the range between 500 and less than 1000 incidents during that time. The year 2008 hads the least ss number of reported robberies.

 

For the number of stolen cars even thought it seems that in 2012 the number wasis almost the same as in 2003, it seems that it has beenwas constant in 2003, 2004 and 2005 but in 2006 registered a significant decrease thanbefore startinged slowly and bit by bit to increase almost constantly every year until 2012.

 

As for the reported burglaries, the number of incidents increased from almost 3500 incidents in 2003 to approximately 3800 in 2004, then demonstrated to have a slow decrease year by year until 2008 when the number of reported incidents wasis arround 1200. Starting from 2009 they increased to almost 1500 and kept constant at arround this number until 2012.

 

Add a sentence at the end here to sum up and don’t forget to compare burglaries and car thefts and their respective positions as the most common and second most common types of crime.

 

Anca, this is a good essay, if a bit too long. I have omitted some unnecessary words and also changed your tenses from present to past. Since the time period being analysed was in the past, it is important that your verbs reflect that. With a few small adjustments, this is an excellent response. ~6

 

We have an exercise for you based on this essay question. Post your answers below and we will provide you with feedback.

Q: Choose one sentence in this essay and see if you can write a better sentence than this. Remember to use uncommon vocabulary, good grammar and punctuation. Good luck!

If this essay and feedback helped you, feel free to repay the love we have shown you by SHARING with other students and also by COMMENTING on it below